No, that’s not my personal description, (although at 5ft 2″, it would be half right). This is a very quick post to try and keep myself on track, if for no other reason.
So, you know how I hate new stuff? and I doubt myself all the time? and I have a tendency to panic about … well, most things? Well, tomorrow I’ll be doing something new, which has resulted in my doubting myself, and , yes, you got it, I’m panicking. I’ve done all the usual stuff like try to worm my way out of it by justifying a good enough reason to bail out (I couldn’t find a good enough convincing reason), I’ve sought reassurance from other people (which has not ,in the least bit, been reassuring) and I’ve finally reached the point where I’m resigned to the fact that this thing is going to happen but I’m no less panicky because of that.
It’s work related, which is always a bit of a sticking point with me, as I’ve always felt a bit like an imposter in my chosen industry, and on top of that, it’s going to mean some really long days, not a lot of sleep and possibly some stress. The last time I had that combination I ended up with the worst migraine I’ve ever had in my life and having to call in sick. The possibility of this happening again is seriously adding to my stress levels and thus taking me back to that vicious circle of ‘trigger – stress – behaviour – trigger – stress – behaviour’ etc.
Because I’m aware that this is happening, I have tried to put some things in place like self care, being as prepared as I can be and trying to ease up on myself … and think of the money. I enjoy my job sometimes but if I’m honest, if I won the lottery, I wouldn’t keep working. My main motivation is that it pays my bills, so I guess I’ll be thinking of that as a way to get to get through the next few days. Trying to rest when I can, eating and drinking properly and reminding myself that I can get through this without dying (which actually seems impossible during the grips of anxiety) will all be playing their part too.
What tips and tricks do you have when you’re anticipating a stressful time? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
The next time I blog here, I’ll have come out the other side… and probably already have spent my wages!